Bloody Boy
by Mimi011
Summary: It was only with Armin dead could she finally discover the truth. Oneshot, Armin's mother. Rated T for blood.


I have known him since he was a child. We've never talked, but I still know him very well. His favorite color is green and he likes to read. He is not as strong as his friends, as he wants to be. Strong, that is. He lived with his grandfather for a while, before the old man went away and died. The mean kids would pick on him a lot. I would scream at them to stop, really, really loud too, but they didn't listen. Armin would always end up crying and covered with bruises. His friends would comfort him though, so he never alone. I'm very grateful to them for that, since I could not do it myself. I desperately wanted to. Help him, I mean.

Armin and his friends stayed together no matter what. In a way, I did too. I just never introduced myself, and they never noticed I was nearly twenty feet away from them for their entire lives. They went into Wall Rose with one another, and fed each other, and healed each other's cuts. I wish I could have done all that for Armin. I should have been able to do all that for him. He was my nearest and dearest friend. I loved him. As family, that is. I loved him as family from a distance. Even though the situation was hell for me, I could never bring myself to approach him. I didn't want to ruin what he had. So I restricted myself from him. Though I would have not have had it any other way, it was torture.

I remember it very well. They were all sitting around on the stairs, chatting with themselves. I was hiding behind the wall, eavesdropping. It was a grim conversation, at the least. I didn't like the sound of it one bit. It would mean a death sentence for Armin. I have known him since he was a child, I and knew he would not survive such a life. Armin's friend Eren seemed absolutely set on it though. He looked mad. Insane that it, not angry. From watching them for so long, I already knew that Mikasa (Armin's other friend) would go with Eren. And I knew that with Eren _and _Mikasa doing it, Armin would too. Armin was too submissive, has been for his whole life. He let those kids beat him around when he was little, and now he let his friends drag him around. But it was more than that. Armin stuck with his friends no-matter-what. He wouldn't have another option. Armin had to join the military with them.

Just as I had always done, I followed them all the way to military training. It wasn't hard for me. My only focus was on Armin, which made things much easier. What was very troubling to me though, was that it was hard for Armin. He was weaker than the other trainees, just as he had always been. Armin couldn't run as long as his friends could. But they would protect him, I was sure of it. Once this training was over, they would still be there for him. I would be there for him, from a couple feet away, but definitely still there for him. Even if he was terrible at the physical training, Armin excelled at the academics. Why, Armin knew three times as much as anyone else in his class. I was so proud of him. At graduation, I cried till midnight. Not for myself, for him. I was so happy for him. He'd done it, he actually had done it! Armin didn't notice me though. He was looking up at his friends, who had both finished in the top ten. I guess I was happy for them too, but I was overfilling with happiness for Armin. It was one of the best days of my existence.

Then one day I was separated from Armin. We had all received our new trainee uniforms, and I wanted to see him in it. I wanted to see him smiling. Then the higher ups started screaming orders and rounding people up and running around. There was a too much screaming. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand how one of those screams could have been Armin's. I took off my jacket and ran away from them. I needed to find Armin.

I did find him. It took what seemed like forever, but I found him. He was on the safe side of the wall, with Eren and Mikasa. Eren must have been hurt, because they were both supporting him. Tears streaked down my face. He was alive. My loved one was alive. There were soldiers surrounding them, pointing cannons and guns at him, but I was too thankful that he was alive to notice. I hid so he would not see me. I watched him for a long while. My gaze never left his beautiful blue eyes, his angelic blonde hair, and his gorgeous face. Even when Eren turned into a beast, and they were covered with fog, I kept was eyes glued to Armin. I did not care about anything but Armin right then.

I never cared about anything but Armin in the first place.

Yet my care and love for Armin was never enough to save him. For the last few months, I followed him, just as usual. I followed him during the "Retake Wall Rose" mission. I followed him to Eren's trial. I followed him into the Scout Regiment. I followed my love to the "Retake Wall Maria" mission. My group had signaled a flare, and the man I was riding with accidently knocked me off the horse. I fell to the ground, and called out to them to come back, but they did not. They didn't hear me. So I was alone, in the middle of nowhere, with no way to find Armin. I was _terrified_. I ran so fast, and I screamed so loud, but no one noticed me. Not even the titans noticed me, because they just walked right over my head. But I didn't have time to notice them either. I needed to find Armin.

Just like that day a few months ago, where I lost Armin in the chaos of battle, and found him, I saw a figure in the distance. The person had short, dark auburn hair. He was all alone. I was all alone. Stopping to stare at the far away man, I came to a decision. I needed to find Armin, and this man probably needed to get back to his group. All the groups were in the same general area, where Armin would be. It would be best to team up with this guy so we could find our way back together. I began my way towards the man. He had his back turned to me, so the man did not see me come up to him. I was only five feet away from him when he spoke.

"What happened to me?"

I halted. I knew he hadn't spoken to me, because no one ever bothered to talk to me. He must have been talking to himself. His voice was a bit scratchy, or maybe it was gurgle-ly. Yes, that was it. It sounded like he was trying speaking while gurgling. I didn't say anything back. It's not like he would hear me. The bullies who picked on Armin, the other soldiers Armin trained with, hell, not even Armin himself ever heard me. When I was younger, just after I met Armin, I would do nothing but talk and speak until I was screaming at the pedestrians on the street. None of them could hear me, so after a while, I gave up talking. I still spoke of course, when I needed to. But this man gave me the urge to want to say something, so I did.

"I don't know," I said softly, and the man spun around. His eyes widened, and he began to gasp like a fish out of water. He took a step back, but he tripped and felon his back. Giving out a strangled cry, he tried to crawl away from me.

I stood there, shocked. This man had beautiful blue eyes, but his irises were nothing more than specks from fear. This hair's color, dark auburn, leaked into those eyes and down his angelic face. It stained the front of his uniform, and was its darkest right in the center of his chest. He was beautiful. He was covered in blood.

This man was _Armin_.

I couldn't breathe. I felt like a fist went through my front and out my back. The world went black, but there was one cruel spotlight on Armin, lying bloody in the grass. It was only him. It had only ever been him, but now god had to really emphasize that he may be only dead soon. One thought pushed through the cruelness of the sight I was beholding. Armin saw _me_. Through the blood dripping into his eyes, he saw me standing in front of him for the first time. And earlier, he had even heard me! Why? Why now?! Why did this have to be our first meeting?

Oh. The blackness shattered like glass, cutting my body on its way to the ground. A thousand tiny cuts, all burning and bleeding and painful formed on my skin. I couldn't move. All I could do was stand and stare at my dying Armin, who was panicking in the grass. His eyes were frantic. My eyes must have looked similar, because it was certainly how I felt. But I understood very well what I had to do. The only thing that mattered was Armin.

Armin was the only thing that ever mattered.

I slowly, cautiously, took a step towards him. He saw this and scrambled backwards, watching me in complete and utter _fear_. The look he gave me made me want to cry. I loved him, and he feared me. Such petty thoughts could not be bothered with right now, I reminded myself. I strode over to his side with ease and sat in the grass next to him. Armin, by now, was hyperventilating. He looked like a deer just before the arrow pierces its pelt. It was then that I let my tears go. I smiled, knowing he could see me, and hear me, even though the present situation. He had to be okay. Armin had to survive, but what could I do? I gently stroked his face with my hand, not minding the blood and sweat that stuck on my fingers. He stopped panicking at my action, but continued convulsing. He was dying, and he couldn't help it. It broke my heart. This was it, Armin was going to die. This reality was a nightmare, but as real as my love for him.

Armin's eyes suddenly met mine. His breath hitched. My smile broke; I began whimpering, and then crying even louder. I would be his last sight. What horrible, lovely irony. I shut my eyes tight and wailed for Armin. My face felt hot and I shook. No one heard me. No one heard me, except for Armin. Armin heard all of my screams. I threw myself at his body, clutching his jacket for what seemed like eternity. I leaned against his chest and heard his heat thumping wildly. He was still alive. I could say goodbye.

"A-Armin! Armin! Armin! I'm s-so sorry! P-Please don't leave me yet, I l-love you, Armin, please d-don't go!" I screamed. His heart kept beating, but he didn't move. He had stopped convulsing.

"I've been with you y-your whole l-life, Armin. I've g-gone everywhere with y-you! I-hic-have loved you for s-so long. Armin, Armin! Y-You've o-only just m-met me, please don't go y-yet Armin!" I wailed to him. He felt so warm, and the blood being absorbed by his shirt was still wet and hot. It had gotten in my hair, and mixed with the tears streaming down my cheeks. But under flesh and bone, his heart had stopped.

Armin had died.

It kept echoing inside my head. Voices jabbed at my sanity like spears. One was louder and bolder than the rest, finally ruining me. If Armin was gone, I was too, it said. So I simply gave in, and died. Metaphorically, that is. I would never feel again, nor breathe, or grow, nor move. That's what happens to the dead, right? That is what happened to Armin, my love, and it is what will happen to me. Even if I could not die in body, I would die in soul.

I would die for a second time.

"Hello," a voice above me said. I did not react. I felt as though I couldn't, so I simply kept on lying on Armin's body. The dead did not think, so I did not think anything of the voice.

"I would appreciate if you would get off me, please," the voice said again. This resurrected me. I jumped to my feet, and saw Armin standing in front of me. No. This is too cruel. Please stop, god. Let me be! At my feet, Armin laid bloody and most certainly dead. His arm still even touched my foot, unmoving. The Armin in front of me stood clean and normal, and not covered in dark auburn blood.

"W-What? How?" I stuttered, looking back from dead Armin to normal Armin. Normal Armin grimaced, following my gaze.

"I died," he said, emotionless, staring at his deceased self, lying on the ground. My eyes shot back up to him.

"No, no, no!" I said, "You are dead. You cannot be standing right there, right in front of me, perfectly fine. It's not possible. I heard your heart stop!" He flinched. I took a step back, staring at disbelief at Armin. No, it's not Armin, it can't be Armin.

He saw this and reached out to me, "Stop! Don't go! I heard what you said before, about you being there with me my whole life. You are my Guardian Angel, right? You're supposed to take me to Heaven, or make sure I don't die, or something else similar. What happens now?"

"What? Guardian Angel? I'm not an Angel! I would've known that!"

"But what happens to me? I-I'm dead, I can't stay here!"

"Well I've been here for quite a while, buddy, and I never got a chaperone to Heaven!"

He stared at me like I was insane. Heck, maybe I was. I just realized that I was dead. Or maybe I was an Angel? No, no. I would've have known something as important as that, so I was definitely dead. I can't even remember how I died. Did I die? My first memory was Armin, only he was only a baby back then, it was undeniably had. His father was there, crying at the birth of his son, and named his Armin. He reached for something under the bed where Armin's mother laid, smiling and asleep, and pulled out a rifle.

I remember how I screamed, "Don't!" I was so sure he was going to shoot Armin. I'd only known the babe for a minute, but still had to protect him. Who would let someone else shoot a baby? Their own baby, at the least! The new father hadn't heard me though. He was the first person to have never heard me. Instead of taking aim at his newly born son, he had placed the barrel of the gun on his forehead. He pulled the trigger. Blood splattered on Armin's cheek. I had screamed, and the baby began crying. In terror, I picked up baby Armin and ran out of the house. I ran across the couple's yard, which looked vaguely familiar, and ran all night until I reached a wall. There was a small crack, is which I inched through, holding Armin close. Inside the wall was a silent town. I looked down at Armin, then back at the road. There was a house close by with a single candle left on. I figured the owner must have still been awake, and approached the door. Looking back down at the baby with pity, I knocked on the wooden door.

There were footsteps from inside the house, and the door opened. Standing at the threshold was an old man, who looked genuinely surprised to see me with a baby in the dead of night.

"Who-"

"His name is Armin," I interrupted the old man, pushed Armin into his arms, and ran back to the wall.

"Hey! Wait!" I heard him yell after me, but I had already slipped back outside of the wall. That old man had been the first one to hear me and see.

I had waited until dawn to see the baby again. By then, the old man had decided the keep the child, and was cradling him in his arms while I spied on them through the window. It was then I decided to stay with the baby, Armin, for my life. I did not know why I wanted to. It was instinct. And that is exactly what I did.

Now I stand before Armin's soul, and Armin's dead body. I stare at him. In appearance, we looked about the same age, even if I was actually twice his. We both had blonde hair and the same blue eyes. I recall that his father, before he shot himself, was a brunette with blue eyes. Armin was probably only an inch taller than me, and maybe two inches shorter than his father was. It even looked as though we had the same lips, of further inspection. Armin's mother-even if I only saw a glimpse of her, and it was years ago-has been asleep after Armin's birth. At least I think she was. Armin's father, on the other hand, was unmistakably dead. My first memory was seeing Armin's father crying, holding newborn-Armin in his hands.

My eyes began to water. I stepped over Armin's dead body, and into his soul's arms. I squeezed him tightly, sobbing into the crook of his neck. Armin simply stood there, letting me embrace him. I would never let go of him. Not now, especially since I now realized the truth that had been in front of me for over a decade.

"What's wrong? Are we stuck here?" asked Armin, pulling my off him. I shook my head no, and wiped my tears away.

"I'm sorry, let's . . . let's start that over. Your name is Armin Allard, and my name is Liliane Allard. And you, you are my son,"


End file.
